Shortchanged

In Colombia, you must always be aware of how many coins and small notes you have because there are plenty of situations where a large-denomination note simply will not cut it. My lasting memory is of the short taxi ride, which costs about 4,000 pesos. Attempts to proffer a 20,000 peso note at the end of the journey are guaranteed to result in an impasse, and curiously, the burden of breaking the note rests with the customer. Sure, you can stand your ground and demand that the driver change the note for you (after all, what’s he going to do, kick you out of the cab?) but that’s pretty typical gringo behaviour and won’t endear you to anyone.

The alternative is a dash to the corner shop where you can buy something and break the bill or you can try and get help from a neighbour. One day it happened to me and the driver and I wandered around the streets, in the rain, for about 10 minutes before we sorted it out. One of the ‘car-minding’ guys outside our apartment kindly offered to help me, “But I’ve only got 17,000” he apologised. Yeah, cheers mate. Tiene mucho huevo. In order to avoid these situations, you develop an unconscious competence in keeping small notes and coins handy.

Then you get to Australia, where everything is the other way around and the trick is keeping small change out of your pockets. One of the gags that mates play on each other here is to pay a friend for something (a beer, a sausage roll) with the change in his pocket. These coins are not so affectionately referred to as ‘shrapnel’ and the idea is not to let them accumulate. Part of the problem is their size and weight. The outsized 50 cent piece could be a lethal weapon in the right hands, and represents a very real threat to clothing when you have to carry it around with a bunch of other coins and a set of keys.

Here’s my change today – a fairly typical sample. Heavy dude!