Hello Again, Sydney

One Sydney-sider's experiences moving back to Sydney after a long absence overseas.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Bigots on the Train

Yes, we're back with another riveting episode of BIGOTS ON THE TRAIN. This week, a relaxing sojourn in the mountains ends in bloody tragedy – stay tuned.

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Cue theme music, shot of train pulling out from station.

Everything was going smoothly on the Sunday afternoon service from Mt Victoria to Central.

Cut to inside train, a general sense of wellbeing permeates carriage.

Lesly, Santiago, Mark and Richard had just spent a pleasant weekend with Rod and his family in the mountains and were returning to Sydney when–

Actually, let's skip the TV show thing. The two guys got on our train around Mt Druitt. They were your garden variety bigots, both a bit drunk, one more vocal, the other a classic yes-man. As we headed towards Central they treated us to a kind of Very Lonely Planet Guide to Sydney.

At Penrith:

Bigot 1
: I hate all these people out here. They're all cheating welfare, f*cking c*cksuckers. This is the last time I ever come out here.
Bigot 2: Yeah.

At Auburn:

Bigot 1: F*cking Vietnamese. They come here and work for nothing and wreck the economy. And Kevin Rudd wants to get rid of the IR laws. [Laughs dismissively]
Bigot 2: [Shakes head] Idiot.

At Redfern:

Bigot 1: They should rename this station f*cking boong town [laughs at own joke]. Or didgeridoo town [laughs harder].
Bigot 2: Yeah, didgeridoo town.

Somewhere in between:

Bigot 1: Can you imagine bloody Julia Gillard as treasurer? She's a f*cking lawyer. Costello's a lawyer too, but at least he's ...[trails off]
Bigot 2: At least he's a bloke.

Sure, it's nothing we haven't all seen before – like, get over it man. Though John Howard (who I know checks in to this blog from time to time) might be a little disturbed by exactly how retarded some of his supporters are. Could have been nice to get a little singalong going of Your Racist Friend, although probably too subtle. Maybe a bit of goosestepping down the aisle and some 'sieg heils' would have been more appropriate? Or, I could have loudly shared my new idea on disrupting Australian politics with Richard.

I call it a popular gerrymander and it's pretty simple. You just arrange for a whole bunch of like-minded people to move in to John Howard's electorate before the next election. They can rent apartments – no need to buy property. A few thousand could be enough to tip the balance, make Howard lose his seat and render him ineligible to be PM again.

Mark: Brilliant or what?

Bigot 1: Oi! I'll 'ave ya!

According to witnesses, the man – who shall remain nameless – flew into a rage and attacked Mark with a bottle-opener key ring.

Cut to outside of train window, blood spatters across it from inside. Screams.

But of course that's not how it happened. I did nothing, which isn't half so good for ratings. Remember that next time you bite your tongue.

1 Comments:

At 3:39 am, Blogger Becky Willis Motew said...

I'm sure I wouldn't have said anything either, Mark. GRRRRRRRRR. We can only hope that others were as put off as you were and that the bigots' views lost even a shred more respectability for their vocalizing.

b

 

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