When will I be famous?

How can we forget Luke Goss, asking us the question back in, let's see ... (sound of fingers on keyboard) ... 1987? Putting to one side any metaphysical debate about what fame actually is, one possible answer could be 'when you appear in the Macquarie dictionary'. As my boss says: "love it or loathe it, the Macquarie Dictionary is Australia's standard reference."

And, no Luke, I'm afraid you're not there. Nor, might I add, is Rick Astley, nor Wham. Kylie Minogue is, however, as is Michael Hutchence. I suppose they are/were Australian and on another level of popularity. But I challenge anyone to explain what Duran Duran are doing in there. In fact, the more you delve into it, the more inconsistencies you'll find. And before you tell me to get over it, may I point out that dictionaries should be the last safehouse of the pedant, and yes, I may indeed be turning into one. So if you're not up for the ride, I suggest you leave now, because I'm going to split this hair, all the way down to the epidermus.

What possible use could this have?

Rockford noun a town in the US, in northern Illinois. Pop 135 900 (1988 est.)

Have people in the US even heard of Rockford? And do they care? If it was famous for something then why not mention it? It even breaks their own stated criteria of only mentioning cities if their population exceeds 500,000 (or 1000 in Australia). And so it goes on, with mountains, rivers, athletes, actors, Greek Orthodox archbishops etc. If, like me, you spend a lot of time flicking through the dictionary, you can't help but wonder how much time you'd save and carpal tunnel sydrome you'd alleviate if you simply got rid of all this stuff.

Of course, if I ever actually get my name in there, I'll take it all back. When will you be famous? When you're in the dictionary.