Our new Prime Minister

News from down under is that Julia Gillard has become the country's first female Prime Minister. Woohoo! Wooooohoooooooooo! Woooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo! At last we can cast off the reputation of being a conservative, chauvanistic society, and give ourselves a big pat on the back for electing a woman to-

Oh hello. Sorry I didn't see you there. What was that you said?

Yeah, okay, we didn't technically elect her - she was chosen by her party to replace the former PM, Kevin Rudd, but really, what does that matter? We would vote for her if we had a chance. I mean, look at her approval rating, shooting straight past that creepy-looking Tony Abbott. Woman's Day even brought out a special midweek edition to celebrate her appointment, that's how excited they were, and-

Yes, I know they were probably ordered by management to work overtime to put it out and that they did it to-

Well, "squeeze a couple of extra dollars out of readers" isn't the wording I would use. I'm sure they were excited about it - profit and pleasure are not mutually exclusive you know. Anyway, back on topic, this is just the tonic that-

If you'll let me finish, I was going to say "that Australian politics needs as we move into a new decade", not "that the Labor Party needs going into the next election". What are you insinuating anyway? That this is just some cheap PR stunt to produce an Obama-like feelgood effect among voters? Because that would be just the kind of thing I'd expect a man to say. You can't take the achievement away from Julia. You don't get to the top of the ALP tree without some serious drive and talent. Even if she was chosen because she would be popular, what's wrong with that? This is politics we're talking about. And now that it's a done deal, she's got the power, and she'll be the one making the decisions on policies and-

The mining tax? Well, that was Kevin Rudd's downfall wasn't it? You can't expect to take a chunk out of the big boys' profits and not cop a bit of retaliation, can you? Julie Gillard wouldn't be so stupid as to try that one on. She knows her place. I mean, she knows the place of politicians is to make sure the economy runs smoothly. For the good of every-

What was that? You've heard enough and have to go? No worries. You take it easy now...

Thank God he's gone. Honestly, the cheek of some people, trying to ruin a celebration like this. Bloody un-Australian! I'm off to read the latest Woman's Day cover story about our first couple: Tim Mathieson tells how he won Julia's heart.